How to walk through the shock of diagnosis
While shopping for curtains and lamps in a local home decor store, I received a life changing notification. While perusing fabrics and colors, my phone dinged, indicating a notification. What I saw on my phone’s screen stopped me in my tracks. My biopsy results were in.
I will never understand why the medical system allows us to receive certain information without a face-to-face conversation with a medical professional. Our medical charts update sooner than a doctor or nurse can call us or schedule a visit, as was the case with my biopsy results.
Cancer. My heart sank and began beating faster as I started placing all the items in my cart back on the shelves. Suddenly I became aware of my sweater, the fabric uncomfortably itchy exaggerated by the quick rise in my body temperature. As I wandered through the parking lot I couldn’t seem to remember where I parked. Who should I call? My husband is in a meeting. Would he want me to interrupt him? Maybe my best friend or my sister will answer. What should I do now? Where should I go?
A state of shock comes upon us on when we receive unexpected and high-impact news about our future. I walked through several of these times in recent years, the biggest of course was my breast cancer diagnosis and then smaller yet significant waves of shock as I navigated extra treatments, ovary removal and a liver ultrasound. I don’t know what diagnosis you have received but I want to walk with you from shock to hope.
This path is not a straight line. One minute your mind is racing with the most monstrous and destructive thoughts. The next minute you find yourself rationally processing your emotions while sitting across from a trusted friend. Many times these things happen at once.
Imagine this: you or someone you love has food poisoning. The only way to get rid of the food poison is to get it out of your body, no matter how horrific the process might be.The same is true of shock. Shock hits us with toxic thoughts and feelings that crash over us like waves of nausea and we must get them up and out. We must share them and release them. Have you considered talking with a wholesome, mature friend? Maybe your spouse, counselor or even pen and paper with your Bible and the Lord. Let it be real and raw. Don’t hold back. Just get it out. You choose to get better not just for yourself but for others. We heal so we can live, live with the ones we love in peace and joy. This is the second greatest commandment in the Bible.
Mark 12:30-31 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Feeling alone in diagnosis is normal. You may feel like no one could possibly understand. But God does. God has this situation in His hands. Unlike us, He is never surprised, He is never afraid and He is never alone. He is Father, Son and Holy Spirit and this team effort is going to be with you. God has a history of winning in battle and you are in a physical and spiritual battle. God promises He will never leave you.
Deuteronomy 31:8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Perhaps you have been in this trial a very long while and received a reoccurrence of your diagnosis which takes you immediately back to the initial state of shock. In Luke 8:43-44, scripture tells us, “Now there was a woman who had been suffering from hemorrhages for twelve years; and though she had spent all she had on physicians, no one could cure her. She came up behind Jesus and touched the fringe of his clothes,and immediately her hemorrhage stopped.”
I imagine the weariness the woman felt, worn out from it all when she decided to come to Jesus. She was focused on one task, to reach out to him. After trying everything medically possible, she rallied. One touch of the hem hanging down from his garment and she found comfort. She likely never imagined that in that crowded moment of people-lined streets that He would pause for her. Impressed, He instantly connected with her heart. She experienced the best tug of her life. She put her health in His hands,and it is time for us to do the same.
Just like this woman, I had no choice but to do many things the doctors prescribed for me. I can tell you stories of the hours sitting in the chemo chair but one thing I know for certain, Jesus met me there. I can’t imagine facing cancer without him. Grab a hold of him. He wants to meet you in this suffering.
Mark 5:31-34 “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ” But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”
Let’s get practical!
1) Honesty in prayer with God is the best policy. Realize fear comes to attack your mind when you are already exhausted. Scared shock waves try hard to steal your sleep. Keep important Bible verses on your nightstand to help you stand against fear. Read these out loud. Yes, open your mouth to read aloud or have your spouse read them. Psalm 91 or 103 are a few favorites. Sleep is key. Get a sleep mask, take melatonin if allowed, use light fan, a sound machine or a lavender diffuser. Rest is a healing weapon. Invite the Lord into your bedtime routine.
2) Healthy distraction. Do something FUN. This may seem counterintuitive but can be very helpful. Order a pizza and find a good clean wholesome show to watch. I love the All Creatures Great and Small series on PBS or the Chosen series. Beautiful scenery, a good laugh and warm heartfelt characters can be healing.
3) God is creative, and he comforts in creative rest. Fill your bird feeders or walk outside in nature to pray. Get a sketch pad, colored pencils and draw. Bake some cookies, knit, whittle wood or make something with your hands. Find what you love anddo something outside your box.
4) Be with people. People matter most and keep us from self-imploding! Plan some short outings or invite friends over. Fully enjoy your kids, grandkids, neighbors and family.
5) Simplify anything you can. Cancel as many unnecessary work or social commitments. Let the house get messy or clean the house, whichever is more peace-filled for you. Ask for help by making a list of what you need. When someone asks, provide them with your list. Let people bring food, run errands or help how they can. They want to show they care.
6) Spend time alone sharing your heart with God. Prayer is simply talking to God, and it changes everything. Get a Bible, notebook and pen. He will speak personally to you through his living Word.