Devotionals by Dave and Ann Wilson
Stopping Toxic Thoughts During the Holidays (Part 1)
By Laura Way
The holidays are stressful, right? Schedules … packed to-do lists … people we don’t often see (like your cousin’s father-in-law’s nephew). On top of it all is the pressure to make everything magical for everyone.
And while there are plenty of things vying for our attention this season, toxic thoughts don’t need to be one of them.
Especially those holiday-induced toxic thoughts that creep into our marriage.
What do I mean by “toxic”? Let’s look at some holiday hypotheticals, shall we?
Mind reading: My husband didn’t say anything about my new holiday dress, so he probably hates it.
Fortune telling: Last year, her conversations with my family got a bit tense. Things will probably be worse this year.
All-or-nothing thinking: I can’t afford the gift my wife really wants, why even try?
Sound familiar?
Here are a couple ways to stop toxic thoughts in their tracks this holiday season (tomorrow, we’ll send you two more!). Before they finagle their way between you and your love.
1. Recognize toxic thoughts before they take hold.
Toxic thoughts and thinking patterns can be insidious. Often, it starts with some kernel of truth that gets distorted and turned into a weapon against ourselves or others. You (or your spouse) make a mistake, or something out of anyone’s control goes wrong—then stress distorts the reality of mistake to mortal sin.
It sucks all the grace out of the room, when the reality is that grace abounds when stress abounds.
2. Replace toxic thoughts with helpful thoughts.
Be ready with gracious truths to replace the toxic thoughts: My spouse is only human, we’re both doing the best we can.
Or rehearse God’s lavish love for you: Nothing can separate me from the love of God (see Romans 8:39). Let His love spur on yours for your spouse.
Need a little more help? Check your inbox tomorrow for a couple more ideas.
Dreading the upcoming holiday festivities? Grab FamilyLife’s Holiday Survival Guide.
The Good Stuff: For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)
Action Points: What situations cause you to lean toward toxic thoughts during the holidays? Pray now for God to take hold of your thoughts.
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About Dave and Ann Wilson
Dave and Ann have been married for more than 40 years and have spent the last 35 teaching and mentoring couples and parents across the country. They have been featured speakers at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember® since 1993, and have also hosted their own marriage conferences across the country.
Dave and Ann helped plant Kensington Community Church in Detroit, Michigan where they served together in ministry for more than three decades, wrapping up their time at Kensington in 2020.
The Wilsons are the creative force behind DVD teaching series Rock Your Marriage and The Survival Guide To Parenting, as well as authors of the recently released books Vertical Marriage (Zondervan, 2019) and No Perfect Parents (Zondervan, 2021).
Dave is a graduate of the International School of Theology, where he received a Master of Divinity degree. A Ball State University Hall of Fame Quarterback, Dave served the Detroit Lions as Chaplain for thirty-three years. Ann attended the University of Kentucky. She has been active with Dave in ministry as a speaker, writer, small group leader, and mentor to countless women.
The Wilsons live in the Detroit area. They have three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody, three daughters-in-law, and a growing number of grandchildren.
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