A Secret Ingredient to Successful Relationships

Successful relationships don’t just happen. They take work. We have to grow and change. We have to learn new things and do new things if our relationships are going to get stronger and better.

Lots of different ingredients are required to make a really great relationship. An important “secret ingredient” is congeniality.

Congeniality is a word you most likely haven’t thought about recently. It definitely doesn’t get the attention it deserves. Let’s put it in the spotlight for a moment and refresh our memory about its meaning.

“Congenial” is an adjective that describes a person who is agreeable and pleasing to be around. It’s someone who has a positive, gracious spirit and an adaptable, flexible temperament. They get along with people.

Congenial people are considerate, conscientious and cooperative. They “wear well” with you. They have a good understanding of other’s needs. They show wisdom in their relationships. They’re emotionally mature and “emotionally intelligent.” They’re not resistant, resentful, contentious or cantankerous. They avoid nagging and nit-picking. They’re not angst-filled or strife-stirring. Congenial people are easy to be entreated and easily instructed.

Congeniality is not about being a fun-loving, happy or “happy-go-lucky” person outwardly. It’s about possessing an internal peace, poise, and contentment that flows out to others. Even our beauty pageants recognize and reward the uniqueness and attractiveness of this character quality. Sadly, it’s a rare find.

The Bible highlights this quality as something special. It makes all of our relationships more pleasant, especially marriage:

"House and land are handed down from parents, but a CONGENIAL spouse comes straight from GOD. — Proverbs 19:14 (Msg)

Congeniality makes a person truly attractive. It’s a kind of beauty that’s much deeper and more valuable than physical beauty or handsomeness. When a congenial person comes into your life, they should be considered and treated as a precious gift and prized treasure.

Congeniality is a gift from God and a gift to others. It’s a special “secret ingredient” for relationship success. It’s a quality we should actively pursue and develop. Make this a goal in your life.

Here’s a simple prayer. Pray it sincerely and pray it regularly:

“Dear Lord, grow a congenial spirit in me. Give me the ability to be pleasant, poised and peaceful in all situations. Help me to be flexible and understanding in my attitudes and actions. Lead me to points of harmony with others. Give me wisdom in all my relationships and maturity in handling all my emotions. Remove from me any resistance, resentment, contention and cantankerousness. Help me to be a blessing to the people you place in my life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Dale O'Shields

For more information, visit the Church of the Redeemer's website.
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