Parent Compass Radio

While growing up comfortably, Alexcia's religion was her skin color. Shamoir grew up surrounded by drugs and gangs. Alexcia and Shamoir meet carpooling with the theater director 45 minutes each time to play practice. They discussed every major topic and were on opposite sides of them all. Working three jobs to make ends meet, Shamoir turns away lucrative job opportunities to go to school for ministry. Alexcia fights off family comments calling him a bum. The sacrifice brings joy as Shamoir and Alexcia have opportunities to tell others the lifesaving message of the love of God and salvation in Christ. Now ministering to others and raising three daughters, their journey has been filled with life altering miracles.

My skin color was my religion. – Alexcia

Pro black home. White people hated black people. We did not deal with white people in our class at all. – Alexcia

From the hood in Jersey City. Grew up in a very dysfunctional environment. My mom struggled with severe drug addiction. – Shamoir

I struggled with anger from the abandonment of my biological father. – Alexcia

I fought a lot. I got kicked out of multiple schools. – Alexcia

I resented God. I hated Him. – Shamoir

Even though my mom struggled with drug addiction, she was a phenomenal mom when she was clean. When she wasn’t suffering from relapse, she was an outstanding mom. She was my best friend. That’s why it was so hard, I felt like my world was taken away from me, when she died. I did feel abandoned. I would cry about it. I would find places to isolate myself and I would just scream. ‘Cause I had to get it out. I resented God. I hated Him. – Shamoir

I can no longer have this little girl watch me cry. – Alexcia

The things I used to love doing; drinking, women, weed, started to just weigh on me so heavy. A really bad downward spiral for me. – Shamoir

This Jesus that I am hearing about. I need Him. – Shamoir

We just kind of sat in the back seat together. Never looked at each other once. I got out of the car as if he wasn’t even there. That is kinda how we met. – Alexcia

That is where the story starts to collide. – Alexcia

I was told Christianity was a white man’s religion. – Alexcia

Stop trying to create God in your image, and understand, accept and believe that you are made in His. – Shamoir

We are just trying to get it right. – Alexcia

My mind was blown. I was like, “What? You changed your mind based on some facts and evidence that was presented to you?” And she was like, “Yeah.” And I fell in love with her right there. – Shamoir

She had just gotten out of a really bad relationship and became a newly single mom. It was a hurdle for me. I had to ultimately alter my preferences a little bit and she had to alter her preferences a little bit for me too. My conduct had not been entirely conformed at the time we started getting together either. – Shamoir

Our first date he told me, “I am looking for marriage and if you are not we need to stop the date right now.” Okay, I had never heard anyone say that before so I am going to stay right here. We are going to finish this date. – Alexcia

We spoke about everything. Laying it all out there. I told her how many kids I wanted. The dynamic of my family that I wanted to structure and lead in a Christlike way. – Shamoir

I remember he told me his life story and I cried. This was completely opposite of my story. Sometimes you think all black people have the same story. – Alexcia

I was there and I didn’t want to be there. I would hold onto it for a while and I would pass it to the next person. No one noticed. – Shamoir

No one is really paying attention until one day one of my friends did notice what I was doing. He said, “You haven’t smoked in a really long time. You are just taking it, holding it, and passing it.” I am like, “I am going to be honest with you, I don’t want to do this anymore.” When you live life for Christ, there is a separation that takes place in between like your family, like your friends you grew up knowing and loving where you had everything in common because you are from similar backgrounds and you do the same things. A huge chasm of difference grows inbetween you because I am called to live life this way and you are going that way. I started to grow in Christlikeness in that regard where I didn’t need it anymore...definitely feel liberated. – Shamoir

She is off the deep end now. She’s going toward the white man’s religion. – Alexcia

The rule in my house growing up was: Do as I say, not as I do. That leaves room for them to make all the mistakes that they want without taking accountability. But you just don’t do it. I can do what I want because I am adult. You are a child. You stay in your place and do as I say. I did not want to perpetuate that cycle of brokenness and dysfunction. – Shamoir

I understand how important it is to have that father figure there, who is there every single day. Although he is not going to be perfect either, just to have his presence. I did not have that, but I knew how much I wanted that for me. So I was like, I am going to give that to my kids. – Shamoir

I struggle with being a husband and a father. I am trying to be good at something that I have never witnessed. I have never seen firsthand. Yes, I have the representation of the ideal man in the form of Christ. But I think there are elements that come from experience. A lot of it was just trial and error. – Shamoir

Our life is just riddled with brokenness, with chaos. – Shamoir

I was struggling with the idea of embracing a child that wasn’t mine. I felt conviction. – Shamoir

Love is not pain. Love does not hurt. It is a choice to sacrifice for someone else. – Alexcia

I was in a really hard place spiritually. – Shamoir

People were calling me a bum! – Shamoir

He does have a real job. – Alexcia

I am just in awe of the way the Lord moves that no one can ever tell me He is not real. – Alexcia

To watch from where he came from to where he is now is nothing but a God thing. It is beautiful to see. – Alexcia

Any affliction I went through in my life was healed the moment I surrendered my life at the cross. – Shamoir

For shows and more subscribe at parentcompass.tv/subscribe or download the Parent Compass App.