I’m Not Your ‘50s Housewife
By Lisa Lakey
As a young wife and new Christian, I had a warped idea of “marital roles.” I couldn’t shake the thought of a 1950s homemaker: mop the floors, make the beds, put the casserole in the oven.
Bonus points if I did it in heels, right? Wrong.
I assumed our marital roles had more to do with who cooks dinner or takes out the trash than how we each serve our marriage and home. And all this did was create the breeding ground for resentment.
If you’ve ever struggled with the idea of marital roles, here are three things to know.
1. Know how God defines a husband and wife.
Wives, God called us “helper” (Genesis 2:18), to respect—esteem and honor— our men and to submit to their leadership (Ephesians 5:22-24). Husbands, you’re called to sacrificially love, lead, and cherish your wives—the same way Christ does for us (Ephesians 5:25-30).
And all those beautiful Scriptures about how to treat your neighbor? They’re meant for marriage, too.
2. Your individual giftings are also meant to serve your spouse and home.
Whether you’re gifted with mad negotiation tactics, being a natural encourager, or even ninja organizational skills, God created those in You to do His good work.
3. Know the healthy balance in your home.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say the wife vacuums regularly while the husband takes out the trash. Yet it seems dishes and toilet scrubbing are divisive issues.
Talk about what a healthy balance looks like in your home. Who has the time and skills to cook? What chore does your spouse despise that you can cover? Don’t let some false, “ideal” image shape the flow of your home.
What makes a house a home, anyway?
The Good Stuff: Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:20-21)
Action Points: Make a point to thank your spouse for one thing they contribute to your home. Are they an amazing encourager? A savvy provider? Or maybe it’s just how you know they’ve always got your back.
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