My Wife Didn’t Know Who I Was
By Bruce Goff
It was a home birth that went right. And wrong.
My wife gave birth to our healthy baby girl, but momma was losing blood. By the time the ambulance arrived she had lost and regained consciousness. As she went by on the stretcher we made eye contact.
It was clear she didn't know who I was.
What a horrible feeling to look into her eyes without getting that knowing look.
To be known. It's one of the greatest blessings that draws us to marriage.
Marriage is the most intimate relationship we can have on earth. In fact, knowing each other in a way meant only for marriage is what led to the birth of our daughter in the first place: “Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived...” (Genesis 4:1).
But the woman who knows me—the good, the bad, and the downright hideous, and yet somehow loves me—looked at me like I was just some dude.
At the hospital she was soon fine. I was her husband again and not some creepy stranger.
Yet thinking about that moment makes me appreciate her love all the more.
In The Meaning of Marriage, Timothy Keller writes, “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.”
Being known and loved by my wife is great, but it isn’t ultimate. It’s a sweet taste of a greater reality: In Christ, I am perfectly known and loved by God. May that be my hope and satisfaction.
And may I know and love my wife well so she can have a sweet reminder of the One who knows and loves her far more than I ever could.
For more on being known and accepted in marriage, read “5 Essentials for a Thriving Marriage.”
The Good Stuff: For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. (Psalm 103:11-14)
Action Points:
- Read Psalm 139 and make it your prayer for God to know you.
- Consider one way you can show your spouse today that you know and love him or her.
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