I See You ...
By Leslie J. Barner
When my husband’s cardiology team told us he would have to have a device implanted into his chest to help his heart pump efficiently, my heart sank.
The list of possible complications during surgery and the reality of our future new normal were overwhelming.
I don’t think I have ever been more scared in my life.
But I wanted desperately to be strong and courageous for Aubrey and our family. So I carefully hid my feelings.
One day, while walking the halls of the hospital, one of Aubrey’s doctors hurried toward me. “I’ve been looking all over for you!” he shouted. My mind raced. What could be so important that he would track me down?
He went on to tell me that my husband had shared with him that I had some fears and concerns about the surgery.
“What?” I responded in shock. “I never told him that.”
The doctor spent several minutes compassionately addressing my fears and concerns. Afterwards, I felt better, settled, and at peace with everything we were facing.
As I realized that Aubrey had seen beyond the façade I’d been putting on, I was reminded of a scene from the 2009 movie, Avatar. It was that heartwarming scene, when Neytiri—feeling as if she had come to know Jake intimately—put her hand over his heart and said, “I see you.”
In her world this phrase is better understood, “I see into you” or “I understand you.”
Asking his doctor to talk with me was Aubrey’s way of saying, “I see you.” In that moment, I felt deeply cared for and intimately known.
It was for me a beautiful picture of Mark 10:8: “And the two shall become one flesh. ‘So they are no longer two but one flesh.’”
Did you know that you have a special power in the life of your spouse?
The Good Stuff: Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
Action Points: One of the best ways to get to know each other intimately is to regularly connect over meaningful conversation. It’s during these times that you can discover more about each other’s personalities, preferences, favorites, concerns, fears, hopes, dreams.
Here are five conversation starters to give it a go!
- As a kid, what was one of your dreams for the future?
- Tell me something I don’t know about you.
- If you were planning an amazing day, what activities would be in the plan?
- When was the last time you had a good belly laugh?
- What’s one of your biggest fears or concerns?
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