Your Spouse Is Not a Pest
By Ben McGuire
We have a rule in our house: “The Habitat Rule.”
As long as the bugs or pests stay in their natural habitat, they live.
But once they cross that line between nature and our home, they become a threat or a nuisance, and they die a swift, merciless death.
Of course, they don’t know when they’ve transgressed that invisible barrier. Yet, they die all the same, or at the very least make a quick retreat, often wounded.
In moments of stubbornness or fragility, I can erect those same kinds of barriers in my marriage.
As long as my wife stays outside my established perimeter, we’re good. But if she violates the threshold with uninvited personal questions, constructive criticism, or helpful correction, she crosses over into the category of threat or nuisance.
The last thing I need, though, is for her to remain distant. As much as I might try to push her away, I need her to press into my heart. Obviously, she is no cockroach.
God created us for intimacy on all levels, especially in our marriage. My wife knows me better than any person on this earth. She sees me at my worst and doesn’t ever give up … because she loves me.
It’s out of love that she is willing to risk crossing my sometimes-well-fortified perimeter, to risk being hurt by me.
It’s because I know she loves me that I should tear down my defenses and invite her in.
“The Habitat Rule” will keep your house insect or rodent free. But it will kill your marriage.
The Good Stuff: Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. (Proverbs 27:6)
Action Points:
- What invisible barriers have you established to guard yourself and preserve your pride?
- In what ways can you invite your spouse to speak more openly and honestly into your life?
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