Playground Rules
By Lisa Lakey
After a disagreement with my husband one night, I hid out in my room for a bit to calm down and sort out my feelings. (By “sort out,” I mean stew in my own self-righteous anger.)
Finally, I drug myself from the confines of my blankets, pillows, and indignation and walked into the living room. But my blank face and body language told my husband something similar to what I spewed at my then-bestie in third grade after she stole my swing: I’m not your friend anymore.
Was that one stupid argument with my husband worth throwing my most important friendship out the window?
Without hesitation, absolutely not.
But did my attitude in the moment threaten to shake the foundation of that friendship? Not gonna lie. It could.
In a marriage, a strong friendship is what gets you through the hard times, the okay times, the I-don’t-want-you-on-my-team times. Proverbs 17:17 makes it clear, “A friend loves at all times.”
In marriage, we can’t play by playground rules. (No matter how tempting it is to stick out our tongues at our spouses.) We don’t pout, call each other names, or run to someone else when we don’t get our way. Instead, we pursue the friendship side of our marriage even when they “steal our swing” in an argument.
And that means swallowing pride and snarky retorts, agreeing to disagree sometimes, and thanking God for the gift of friendship with your spouse.
How do you pursue your spouse for the long haul? Read “10 Ways To Say ‘I Still Do’ After 40 Years.”
The Good Stuff: Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9)
Action Points: Make a list of the top five attributes you look for in a friend. Do you embody these qualities toward your spouse? Make a note by each attribute on how you can be a better friend in this area.
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