Devotionals by FamilyLife
Doggie bag, please
By Lisa Lakey
During a particularly low point in our marriage, the husband and I went to dinner with another couple. Newlyweds, in fact. (I know. What were we thinking?)
They were so sickeningly sweet to each other my teeth started aching before the appetizers came. I kid you not, they even touched their foreheads together and had this weird eye-contact moment. I had to look away.
By the time we got our entrees, I was nauseated from the sugar show. I asked the waiter for a doggie bag and packed my fettuccine to go. I was done.
In that moment, all I could think was how much better their relationship was than ours. How they were so in love when we were, at best, tolerating each other.
When married life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, I tend to forget comparison is a life-sucking trap.
It’s easy for us to look at another couple and think, Wow, they’ve got it all together. But in reality, they’ll face struggles similar to what we all face—job losses, busyness, financial hardships, sickness, even comparison.
And you’ll likely never know it. In relationships, what you see on the surface doesn’t always reflect what’s going on inside.
We’ve had dinner with the same couple since that night. My husband and I were in a better place this time around, and (surprise) they didn’t seem so obnoxiously in love (not that it’s a bad thing).
Maybe that had less to do with them and more to do with my own attitude.
I didn’t compare our marriages during the meal, I just enjoyed the company. And I was able to savor my meal. No doggie bags required.
The Good Stuff: You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife … or anything that is your neighbor’s. (Exodus 20:17)
Action Points: Stuck in comparison mode? Sit down (if not now, soon) and write out five things you are thankful for in your spouse or marriage. Share this list with your spouse.
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FamilyLife Today® is a weekday podcast featuring fun, engaging conversations that help families grow together with Jesus while pursuing the relationships that matter most.
About Dave and Ann Wilson
Dave and Ann have been married for more than 40 years and have spent the last 35 teaching and mentoring couples and parents across the country. They have been featured speakers at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember® since 1993, and have also hosted their own marriage conferences across the country.
Dave and Ann helped plant Kensington Community Church in Detroit, Michigan where they served together in ministry for more than three decades, wrapping up their time at Kensington in 2020.
The Wilsons are the creative force behind DVD teaching series Rock Your Marriage and The Survival Guide To Parenting, as well as authors of the recently released books Vertical Marriage (Zondervan, 2019) and No Perfect Parents (Zondervan, 2021).
Dave is a graduate of the International School of Theology, where he received a Master of Divinity degree. A Ball State University Hall of Fame Quarterback, Dave served the Detroit Lions as Chaplain for thirty-three years. Ann attended the University of Kentucky. She has been active with Dave in ministry as a speaker, writer, small group leader, and mentor to countless women.
The Wilsons live in the Detroit area. They have three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody, three daughters-in-law, and a growing number of grandchildren.
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