Valentine’s Day: Celebrating Marital Oneness
February 14, 2017
00:00
How do you celebrate marital oneness when your family isn’t one?
There may be many people wondering that this Valentine’s Day since this is a day to celebrate love and romance but what if there is strife in your extended family? Or maybe your blended family isn’t very blended. You two are doing great but you may have concerns for the kids. How do you enjoy a day like Valentines? Well, you may have to compartmentalize. No, not everything is hunky-dory, but thank God for your spouse and celebrate what is going well in your marriage. It’s okay to do that.
Featured Offer
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry will be hosted at The Hope Center in Plano, Texas. This two-day event on October 10 & 11 will equip you and your team to minister more effectively to blended families.
Archives
You know, we really shouldn’t be surprised when our children misbehave.
Why not? Well, because in the Bible Proverbs 22 says, ”Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” This verse reminds me of the parent educator who said we spend the first 18 months of our child’s life meeting their every desire, and then spend the next 18 years trying to get that expectation out of them. But that’s the good news of this verse—moral teaching drives foolishness away. Be encouraged parents and stepparents and just stay after it.
February 13, 2017
Here's a not so secret quality ogf strong famlies. They have fun together.
Playing together as a family lightens the mood, puts a smile on everyone’s face, and creates memories. For stepfamilies the added bonus is it bonds you together. Playing games and having a little fun competition helps to break down walls and connect you. You can read a book together. Learn to play an instrument. Or go on a family hike. Sure there are going to be times when not everyone wants to engage in every activity so find what they do like and take it one day at a time.
February 10, 2017
Have you ever had somebody take a bite of your cake without asking?
When a parent dies or parents’ divorce children experience many losses. Holding onto one of those parents is one way they find security in the midst of the storm. When new stepfamily members enter the picture the child is forced to share their parent and to them it feels like another loss. Don’t be surprised by the mixed reactions in your child. Be open to how it makes them feel and receive it because listening says, “I love you” which ultimately is exactly what they need to know.
February 9, 2017
Here’s a dilemma: How do you find permanence in a relationship without making a permanent commitment?
You know what a wedding is, right? It’s the day a man and a woman draw a line in the sand and step over it together. I’ve heard some people argue that living with someone is essentially the same thing. Then I say, “Oh, so it won’t matter is you go ahead and get married then.” To which they start backpedaling pretty fast. People intuitively know that marriage is different. Paper may not make a difference, but commitment does. Do you want permanence? Choose permanence.
February 8, 2017
Family meetings. It might be worth trying.
Some of you have already benefitted from my article on family meetings. This testimony from a stepdad explains why they can be so much more than just a meeting. “We started family meetings by necessity,” he told me. “We kept running into walls with the kids so we decided to get together and talk about it. At first the meetings were all problem centered. But then we realized we could get proactive. Now, looking back it did more than solve problems. We figured out how to be a family.”
February 7, 2017
Stepparents, don’t just aim for love, earn their trust.
To have healthy relationships it really takes love and trust. One without the other doesn’t make for a solid relationship. Now, especially for adopted children, foster children, and stepchildren trust opens the door to love. Build trust by being emotionally and physically safe to be around; by showing them that you are committed and you’ll never leave them; and by loving them on their worst day. And be trustworthy. Be a person they can trust and you’ll be a person they can love.
February 6, 2017
You’ve heard of the forbidden fruit, right? Well, Proverbs 5 warns men to avoid the forbidden woman. The woman who entices a man away from his marriage. In the end, it warns she is as bitter as poison. Today, there is another forbidden woman who enters our house through the internet. Pornography is now so easily accessible the average age of first exposure for kids is four-years-old. Be vigilant to protect your home from her influence. As Proverbs says she cares nothing about the path to life.
February 3, 2017
A stepparent’s role will change over time especially when it comes to discipline. At first think of yourself as a teacher on the first day of school. You are the adult in charge but your students don’t really know you that well. So it’s best to let the principal, their biological parent, set the expectations and standards of conduct. But as the school year progresses you will naturally get to know each other better. Good stepparenting is a function of relationship. Keep building yours.
February 2, 2017
What do you see, when you look at yourself, through heaven’s eyes?
The words of Titus 3 tell us that God saved us by His mercy, so that by His grace we might become His heirs. Did you hear that? Despite our sinfulness we have been reborn and made new in Jesus Christ. We are now heirs of the King. You have a new identity. An heir of God, a person of surpassing value with a worth that doesn’t have to be earned and can’t be taken away. Now, share that worth with the person next to you in the form of love, so they, too, can see their worth through heaven’s eyes.
February 1, 2017
I’m wondering, should you pray for God to change your spouse?
If you’re married, you’ve probably prayed that prayer at least once. But how do we know if that’s appropriate or just shifting blame? Well, if your spouse is involved in sinful behavior pray for them to repent. And if they are abusive don’t tolerate it, get to safety, and pray they are convicted to change. But if it’s just a matter of preference, well, pray for your heart to change more times than you pray for them to change.
January 31, 2017
See More Episodes
Loading...
P
S
Listen to FamilyLife Blended® on
Amazon Echo
Learn How
Learn How
Featured Offer
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry will be hosted at The Hope Center in Plano, Texas. This two-day event on October 10 & 11 will equip you and your team to minister more effectively to blended families.