It’s a tough world out there; I say we lean in together.
I received a letter from a defeated stepmom. Her multi-layered complex stepfamily story shouted defeat. There’s drug addiction. The courts are involved. And in-laws who have legal custody of the children are making it tough. It’s really a difficult situation. And then there are those who say, “Well you got into this mess, you just have to get yourself out.” That’s not helpful. This stepmom is trying to be part of the solution. Let’s bring the power of the church to her side and lean in with her.
September 29, 2016
Did Jesus’ love and sacrifice for us make us more or less?
Ephesians 5 in the Bible says that Christ’s love for us, the church, made us sanctified, cleansed, washed, radiant, without stain or wrinkle, holy, and blameless. That’s definitely more! Guys, we’re called to love our wives like that. Because of how you love her, she should be more, not less. A selfish, controlling, critical, inattentive husband makes her less. But a thoughtful, kind, encouraging husband makes her more. More of what God has called and gifted her to be. Make her more.
September 28, 2016
Did your wedding gifts include a toaster, crockpot, and a grandchild?
An increasing number of people are getting married later and acquiring not only adult stepchildren, but stepgrandchildren. Research confirms that adult stepchildren are the gatekeepers to whether or not the stepgrandparent and stepgrandchildren have a loving relationship. The way you get along with your adult stepchildren will probably determine how you get along with your stepgrandchildren. If you want to open and enjoy that stepgrandchild gift, make sure you get along with their mom or dad.
September 27, 2016
“Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.”
Those are the words of legendary coach John Wooden. He also said, “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” I want my kids to get that. They can’t do everything, but they can put to use their God-given gifts. I’d also pray those words over stepparents, who can’t control a stepchild’s openness to them, on biological parents in blended families, who can’t make everyone happy all the time and on stepchildren who wish that the death or divorce had never happened.
September 23, 2016
“Finally, I let myself love again.”
When people go through a significant breakup they sometimes get cautious about loving again. Carissa shared that she built a huge wall around her heart after her first husband changed for the worse. She assumed then that her second husband would do the same; she expected to be disappointed. But when he didn’t disappoint her she realized her wall was still up and it had to come down. Find courage like Carissa. Break down your wall; trust God; and let yourself love and be loved.
September 22, 2016
Today’s blended family…needs a grace-filled grandparent.
Stepfamilies are filled with loyalty wars so what every family needs is a grandparent who refuses to play the chess match competing for people’s loyalties. They love all grandchildren, whether biological or step, and spend time with them and celebrate who they are. And, when the blame wars start between homes they’re not manipulated by agendas and quietly remind family members to extend forgiveness. This kind of grace ripples throughout a family tree and seeds life into a blended family.
September 21, 2016
So, Guys, how fat is your wife?
Maybe I should clarify what I mean. How fat with your love is your wife? In Ephesians 5, God encourages us men to feed and care for our wives like you feed and care for your own body. I’ve often thought that if I love my wife the way I feed my body, she should be pleasantly plump with love. Love is one case where she’d like to be fat if you know what I mean. So the next time you stick food in your mouth ask yourself, “how well am I feeding and caring for my wife?” Believe me, she’ll eat it up.
September 20, 2016
This is ironic: in today’s digital world we’re more connected and disconnected than ever before.
Jealousy and envy are at an all-time high in our culture. Why? Because the daily “highlight reel” of social media makes everyone else’s life look perfect. So, while we’re seemingly more connected to other people’s lives, we distance ourselves in envy because our lives don’t compete. The way to truly connect between families and within your family is through transparency. Find the courage to give your family and friends a chance to love the real you; and see if they don’t return the favor.
September 19, 2016
Now, as far as national days go, Mother’s Day and Thanksgiving I get. But Bologna Day?
There’s Fruitcake Toss Day; Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day; Chocolate Cake Day (I’m an advocate for that one); Work Naked Day (I’m not an advocate for that one); Talk Like Yoda Day; and No Rhyme or Reason Day. If you ask me most of these days have no rhyme or reason. For example, today, September 16 is Collect Rocks Day, Guacamole Day, and National Stepfamily Day. Hey, blended families, today’s your day. So, get out there and collect some rocks, eat guacamole, and celebrate!
September 16, 2016