The Fun-Factor 2
February 21, 2019
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Guess what? A regular diet of fun predicts whether stepfamily couples have a dynamic, fulfilling relationship or an unhappy one.
Couples who engage in leisurely activities together on a regular basis report that they enjoy being with one another. That makes total sense. So, why don’t we find the time for the fun-factor more often? Well, one-third of stepfamily couples disagree about what’s fun. They have different interests and hobbies that take them in two directions. Now it’s okay to have different interests, but you must find something that you can share together.
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The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry will be hosted at The Hope Center in Plano, Texas. This two-day event on October 10 & 11 will equip you and your team to minister more effectively to blended families.
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You don’t have to be a brain surgeon to guess that having fun together as a couple is good for your marriage. And you’d be right!
Ty and Andrea secretly watched each other play tennis in a club league for months before Ty finally asked Andrea to play a match—and they were a match. Fast forward and the fun activities that brought them together have now faded into the business of life. Making time for leisure activities is key for all marriages, but my research has discovered it is particularly important for stepfamily couples. There’s something about “the fun-factor” that protects you from the stress of stepfamily life.
February 20, 2019
Can every home be a godly home?
Sometimes we do judge a book by its cover. Whether you can be a leader at church, teach classes, or work with students is sometimes determined by your marital story. Our goal at FamilyLife is “Every home a godly home;” but that does not mean “every home a biological, nuclear home.” Love and grace can characterize people in complex families, too. Be careful not to limit people based solely on family structure. Ultimately, teaching them to love Jesus and love each other is the goal.
February 19, 2019
For your kid’s sake, wouldn’t you like to know the path to great faith?
In Luke 7 in the Bible Jesus gives an incredible complement to a Roman Centurion soldier: “Not even in Israel have I found such faith.” Wow. Wouldn’t you love to have Jesus say that about you and your kids? So, who was this guy? He was humble and he understood his place in the world and Jesus’ authority as God. That’s one task of good parenting: Helping our children to humbly accept their place in the world while bowing to God’s authority and power. Teaching that starts with us modeling it.
February 18, 2019
“Ron, if it weren’t for the stepfamily, we’d be a happily married couple.”
I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard this. Our research finds that before a wedding couple satisfaction is mostly tied to, as you would expect—the couple. Couple satisfaction is a function of the couple’s relationship. But, after the wedding, couple satisfaction is equally tied to the stepfamily stuff going on around them. Stepfamily couple satisfaction is a function of the couple’s relationship AND the stepfamily dynamic. That’s where they get blind-sided. Hey, we can help with that.
February 15, 2019
All right all you married lovers out there do you speak Valentine?
You could tell your spouse how much you love them by buying them Valentine's candy, a card, or flowers. Some people spend hours writing a poem that makes the other person feel special. Or if you believe that actions speak louder than words you might spend the day showering the love of your life with small acts of kindness. Whatever you do make sure you don’t miss the opportunity to take them in your arms, look them in the eye, and tell them, if given the chance you’d marry them all over again.
February 14, 2019
“But Ron, I don’t want to date someone who has kids.” Well, good. I don’t want you to either.
What I mean is that someone who doesn’t want to date a single parent shouldn’t date a single parent. That sounds obvious but you’d be amazed how many people do so even though they have no intention of taking on the responsibility of a child. I commend this guy for thinking seriously about this. Your values and priorities might lead you to a different conclusion about dating a single parent. But knowing what you want is an important aspect of wise dating that every single person should consider.
February 13, 2019
Look at your life through someone else’s eyes.
It’s amazing what you see when you look at your home through a potential buyer’s eyes. Stuff you once ignored, now screams for your attention. What if we viewed our life and family through someone else’s eyes? We might tidy up our talk to and about other people. We might sweep away dirty attitudes and not let slide certain behavior in our kids. When you’re selling your house, living really clean all the time is a pain, but it’s a great way to make the Kingdom of God attractive to the world.
February 12, 2019
How do you save a struggling marriage?
Well, I can’t speak to specific circumstances, but in general do two things: First, speak out of your desire for the relationship not your anger at the person. You don’t say, “You don’t care about me.” Instead say, “I miss us. I want to figure this out.” And second, if you’re really stuck, you need a marriage therapist. You need more than a book or a conference. You need someone really trained to handle marital issues. It may take awhile to find the right therapist but your marriage is worth it.
February 11, 2019
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.
In the Bible we’re reminded that faith in God is where true knowledge comes from. Since God is the author of life it makes sense to view life through His eyes. Proverbs says the simple minded person can gain wisdom and discernment for living life. This is going to translate into better life choices and stronger relationships. Like smart stepfamilies who trust in the Lord to provide insight for living by reading Scripture and sharing it with each other and applying it to their daily life.
February 8, 2019
Ron, what do you do if you’re trying to bond with a stepchild, but all they say is, “Talk to the hand”?
This is frustrating because you are trying as hard as you can but the door is closed. So, what do you do? Well, you start by respecting their posture. I mean, you could try and force your way in but we all know that’s not going to work. Essentially, do what Jesus does with us when we close ourselves off from him. Stand at the door and gently knock. Talk to them through the door and tell them you’re going to be there when they finally open the door. Then, love them as best you can until they do.
February 7, 2019
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Featured Offer
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry will be hosted at The Hope Center in Plano, Texas. This two-day event on October 10 & 11 will equip you and your team to minister more effectively to blended families.