September 11- Tragedy & Hope
September 9, 2016
00:00
Tragedy and hope—what a strange combination.
Sheri Ladley lost her husband, James, on September 11, 2001. Her two children lost their father. Their family lost their joy. The 9/11 attacks were tragic for all Americans, but for Sheri and her kids, it was deeply tragic. Since then our country has rebuilt some of what it has lost. Sheri’s family has, too. She remarried and had a daughter whose middle name is Hope. This year on 9/11 let’s remember the people we lost and the tragedy that changed everything. And let’s cling to the One who heals.
Featured Offer
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry will be hosted at The Hope Center in Plano, Texas. This two-day event on October 10 & 11 will equip you and your team to minister more effectively to blended families.
Archives
Is your family communication filtered or unfiltered?
In this digital age we have many communication filtering options. Say your mobile phone rings, but you let it go to voicemail. You listen to the message and reply with a text. That’s filtering. This has pros and cons. For blended families, filtering can help reduce conflict in strained relationships. But if new family members don’t stop filtering they’ll never develop a genuine relationship. The way to add depth is to actually talk and hang out in person. That throwback idea needs a comeback.
September 8, 2016
Do you see that smile on that older person’s face? They must be a grandparent. It’s true, isn’t it? Just ask someone about their grandkids and their face lights up, they show you pictures, and they get giddy all of a sudden. No wonder Proverbs 17:6 says that grandchildren are the crown, or should I say the “reason for joy,” of the aged. Now sometimes in blended families grandchildren bring an added blessing: they unite the family. To a grandchild there’s no grandparent and stepgrandparent. They don’t’ know the family history and don’t care. You’re just someone they love.
September 7, 2016
I once witnessed someone act in a mature, loving way and I learned a lot.
A friend stood up against an injustice. A group of people were standing by when his wife heard about what he did and because he put himself in harm’s way she reacted in anger. He could have gotten defensive that she chastised him in public, but instead he responded gently. Mature friends and lovers stay connected to people even when they are angry with them, and because their focus is on the other person, they can tell when anger is really worry and find a loving spirit even when being attacked.
September 6, 2016
A biological family is born out of hopefulness while a stepfamily is born out of loss.
That sounds strange and it’s not meant to be negative or condescending rather it’s an important observation. Every stepfamily has a loss narrative just below the surface that impacts and influences every aspect of the family. For a child whose parent died, for example, embracing a stepparent can feel like burying their parent again. Sadness impacts bonding. Understanding this helps you listen better, have more patience, and support those you care about. The more you know, the better you love.
September 5, 2016
“I’m such an outsider, how do I get in?”
Whether it’s feeling like a social outcast in junior high or not fitting in at church, nobody likes to be an outsider. Stepparents start their blended family journey as outsiders. They have to find belonging and acceptance. Say you’re going to play softball, but the stepparent isn’t very athletic. They’re going to look foolish and feel like they don’t belong. Instead choose an activity they can do well with the kids. Shift the outsider in because they need to connect and build memories.
September 2, 2016
Have you ever felt like you married the wrong person? Well, I say, you did.
When people tell me they married the wrong person, I say we all married the wrong person. You really didn’t know what you needed when you chose who you chose. Now, assuming you want to become who you need to become to love who you chose, by God’s grace, you’ll discover you married the right person. They were the wrong person for who you were, but the right person for who you are becoming in Christ. You picked better than you knew—someone who could love someone like you.
September 1, 2016
“I can’t help it, Ron. That’s just how I feel.”
As a counselor I’ve heard those words—and that excuse—countless times. But according to the Bible, what we think should determine how we act. Be transformed by the renewal of your mind, says Romans 12:2, then you’ll know what is good, acceptable, and perfect. What informs our thinking is God’s wisdom. Mistreating someone who hurts you, engaging in pornography, or bad mouthing family members are driven by feelings. Not God's truth. Want a stronger family? Let God’s wisdom determine how you act.
August 31, 2016
Sometimes, kids and parents just don’t listen.
After dating a 70 year-old man for three months Tina’s mom, age 67, announced she was getting married. Tina, her siblings, the grandchildren and his family all asked the couple to slow down, but they wouldn’t listen. Hey, if your child was making an expensive impulsive decision you’d want them to listen to you, right? Take the pulse of your family and trusted advisors. If the consensus
August 30, 2016
If you’ve ever been to a foreign country you know just what I mean. Have you ever been an outsider? In a biological family everyone is an “insider” with the privileges of being part of the family, and children naturally respect their parent’s authority and trust them. In a blended family, someone is an outsider. Stepsiblings are outsiders to each other and stepparents are outsiders to their children. This makes the stepparent’s authority easily challenged. To become a healthy blended family merge outsiders with insiders. The more you know, the better you love.
August 29, 2016
You know what a hybrid is, right? It’s when two things are combined.
August 26, 2016
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Featured Offer
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry will be hosted at The Hope Center in Plano, Texas. This two-day event on October 10 & 11 will equip you and your team to minister more effectively to blended families.