Earn Their Trust
February 6, 2017
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Stepparents, don’t just aim for love, earn their trust.
To have healthy relationships it really takes love and trust. One without the other doesn’t make for a solid relationship. Now, especially for adopted children, foster children, and stepchildren trust opens the door to love. Build trust by being emotionally and physically safe to be around; by showing them that you are committed and you’ll never leave them; and by loving them on their worst day. And be trustworthy. Be a person they can trust and you’ll be a person they can love.
Featured Offer
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry will be hosted at The Hope Center in Plano, Texas. This two-day event on October 10 & 11 will equip you and your team to minister more effectively to blended families.
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You’ve heard of the forbidden fruit, right? Well, Proverbs 5 warns men to avoid the forbidden woman. The woman who entices a man away from his marriage. In the end, it warns she is as bitter as poison. Today, there is another forbidden woman who enters our house through the internet. Pornography is now so easily accessible the average age of first exposure for kids is four-years-old. Be vigilant to protect your home from her influence. As Proverbs says she cares nothing about the path to life.
February 3, 2017
A stepparent’s role will change over time especially when it comes to discipline. At first think of yourself as a teacher on the first day of school. You are the adult in charge but your students don’t really know you that well. So it’s best to let the principal, their biological parent, set the expectations and standards of conduct. But as the school year progresses you will naturally get to know each other better. Good stepparenting is a function of relationship. Keep building yours.
February 2, 2017
What do you see, when you look at yourself, through heaven’s eyes?
The words of Titus 3 tell us that God saved us by His mercy, so that by His grace we might become His heirs. Did you hear that? Despite our sinfulness we have been reborn and made new in Jesus Christ. We are now heirs of the King. You have a new identity. An heir of God, a person of surpassing value with a worth that doesn’t have to be earned and can’t be taken away. Now, share that worth with the person next to you in the form of love, so they, too, can see their worth through heaven’s eyes.
February 1, 2017
I’m wondering, should you pray for God to change your spouse?
If you’re married, you’ve probably prayed that prayer at least once. But how do we know if that’s appropriate or just shifting blame? Well, if your spouse is involved in sinful behavior pray for them to repent. And if they are abusive don’t tolerate it, get to safety, and pray they are convicted to change. But if it’s just a matter of preference, well, pray for your heart to change more times than you pray for them to change.
January 31, 2017
Hey Ron, can stepparents discipline their stepchildren?
Periodically I get that question because someone heard a TV talk show host say that stepparents should not discipline, that only the biological parents should do that. To be candid, that’s poor advice. What if foster parents or adoptive parents did that? It’d be utter chaos. Now, stepparents should not act independently of the biological parent, work with them. And as long as you enforce the rules you have agreed to, you can discipline your stepchildren.
January 30, 2017
I feel like the church’s dirty little problem.John explained that after his divorce he didn’t think he could go back to church and now that he is part of a stepfamily he feels like a second class Christian. John may need to seek forgiveness but if it is his church making him feel second class something’s wrong. There are no second class Christians because there are no first class Christians. Just sinners in need of a cross. If you sometimes feel less than fall into the grace of God and seek his forgiveness just like everybody else.
January 27, 2017
When it comes to bonding with a stepchild their age matters. Children under the age of five tend to welcome new family members whereas children between the ages of 10-15 have the most difficult time bonding with stepparents. And, the adult stepchild is not looking for another parent figure but they are trying to figure out your place in the family. So if you are a stepparent find a relationship that works for both you and the child. Today that is. And trust that the door will open to something more tomorrow.
January 26, 2017
Corporations have business meetings all the time. Shouldn’t families do that? Generally, the purpose behind a business meeting is to generate teamwork and productivity. A family meeting is so much more than that. It’s about facilitating family harmony as well as making vacation plans and discussing the family calendar. You can also work through hurt feelings and support each other in tough times. And there’s a bonus for blended families: regular family meetings become a ritual that strengthens a sense of family identity.
January 25, 2017
Watch out! It’s a trap!Proverbs 22:14 speaks a great truth that we all need to hear. “The mouth of forbidden women is a deep pit.” Now, that pit is hidden, a trap that collapses under you. Of course, the “forbidden woman” could be a real person. But in this day and age, it could also be a video on the internet. Protect your heart from the forbidden woman, protect your home from her enticements, and point out that deep pit to your children so they can walk around it and not fall in.
January 24, 2017
Different kid, different parenting.Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” That’s a promise, right? No, actually, the emphasis of the verse is on the child, not the path. Train up a child and move them toward their giftedness and strengths. That is challenging enough, but imagine becoming a foster parent or stepparent. Where do you start? Study the child. Talk to their parent. Pray for insight to help them be who God has designed them to be.
January 23, 2017
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Featured Offer
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry
The 2024 Summit on Stepfamily Ministry will be hosted at The Hope Center in Plano, Texas. This two-day event on October 10 & 11 will equip you and your team to minister more effectively to blended families.