The Boundless Show

Lisa Anderson

Overcoming Summer FOMO: Episode 805

July 6, 2023

Don’t feel left out this summer, plus a conversation on self-control, and breaking up with a friend who isn’t good for you.

 

Featured musical artist: All Sons & Daughters

 

Roundtable: Left Out of Summer Fun?

 

You’re going about your summer and having a good time — until you discover some of your friends planned an event but didn’t invite you. Now that you think about it, a lot of things seem to be happening without you…at least if Instagram has anything to say about it. How do you respond? This week we talk about what makes us feel left out and how we can craft a contented summer regardless of who’s doing what.   

 

Leave us a Voicemail

 

Culture: Learning Self-Control (Part 1)

 

You started the year with good intentions, but they were short-lived. Now more than halfway through 2023, all of your goals, resolutions, and “I’ll do betters” have fallen by the wayside. Fortunately, author Drew Dyck is here to help. He’s consulted both the Bible and brain science to find out why self-control is so hard, but also how we can strategically build the muscle to help us form good habits that will go the distance. In part one of our conversation, Drew extols the virtues of self-control, explains why willpower isn’t enough by itself, and how a conversation with his wife helped him take some personal inventory.  

 

 Your Future Self Will Thank You: Secrets to Self-Control from the Bible and Brain Science

 

Inbox: When a Friend Isn’t Good for You

 

You’re noticing that a friendship isn’t bringing out the best in you, and you’re wondering: Is it time to cut ties? Counselor Kari Aho weighs in.

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Archives

How to live successfully with roommates, plus Gary Thomas on the desire for marriage, and is coffee addiction sinful?    Featured musical artist: Various Artists   Roundtable: Tips for Getting Along With Roommates   Having a roommate (or more than one) is a great option for young adults who want to save money, live in community, and grow as an individual. But not every roommate situation is created equal; some roommates are naturally easy to get along with while others can be difficult. This week we share the highs and lows we’ve experienced with roommates, how to vet potential candidates, how to have productive conversations (even around conflict), how to set expectations in a living situation, and even how to be a good roommate yourself.   Leave us a Voicemail   Culture: Gary Thomas on Desiring Marriage   Seeing friend after friend get married can feel discouraging if you’re still single with virtually no prospects. Will it ever be your turn? Pastor Gary Thomas, author of “The Sacred Search,” offers advice to those who are in a season of hoping and waiting for marriage. He’ll also suggest ways to grow in maturity and purpose as you seek a spouse.   The Sacred Search: Updated & Revised   Inbox: Is Coffee Addiction a Sin?    We naturally label as “addiction” a dependence on things like drugs and alcohol. But what about caffeine? Is being coffee-dependent a sin? Lisa Anderson weighs in. 
June 29, 2023
Wrestling with doubts about your faith, plus Gary Thomas gives book recommendations, and prioritizing time with your family.    Featured musical artist: Abandon     Roundtable: What If I Have Doubts About My Faith?   At some point in your Christian walk, you’ll have questions about God, faith, the Bible and more. While seeking answers is a good thing, what about entertaining doubts? Does God want us to question Him? Is doubting a sign of a lack of faith — or of not being saved? Our guests open up about things they’ve struggled with and what has helped them seek and trust God amid questions, doubts and dark nights of the soul.   Leave us a Voicemail   Culture: Book Recommendations From Gary Thomas   Summer is here, and with it comes summer reading. Pastor and author Gary Thomas (hello, “The Sacred Search”) is a popular guest who is also an avid reader. If you’re looking for great books to read this summer (or anytime!), be sure to listen in as Gary gives some of his top recommendations across a wide variety of genres.   The Sacred Search: Updated & Revised; When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People     Inbox: Spending More Time With Family   Time is a precious gift — and so is family — so how do you prioritize your loved ones when your days and weeks are jam-packed with work, activities, and other pastimes? Our host Lisa Anderson weighs in.  
June 22, 2023
What guys need in a friend, plus Alisha Plummer on singles in church, and are most Christian men on dating sites OK with premarital sex?      Featured musical artist:  Aaron Strumpel       Roundtable: What Men Need From Friendships   Friendships are essential for emotional and relational health; without them, our lives can easily become self-centered and empty. But what exactly do men and women need from their friends, and what should we be willing to give? This week, a group of guys discuss friendship from a male perspective. They share what makes a friendship meaningful, how to go deeper in friendship, and how to call each other out when necessary.   Leave us a Voicemail   Culture: Including Singles at Church    With most churches programmed for couples and families, it’s easy for single adults to feel left out. But Scripture affirms singles as a vital part of the family as well as the body of Christ. Alisha Plummer is a Christian single with constructive ideas for how the church can better integrate its unmarried members. If you’re feeling alone at church, this will be an encouraging discussion.   Confessions of a Christian Spinster: Finding Purpose in a Perplexed and Paired-Up Church     Inbox: Men and Premarital Sex    Our listener says many of the guys she’s met on dating apps say their faith is important — yet they don’t have a problem justifying premarital sex. She’s pretty upset about it. Is this a male problem, or is there something bigger here? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in.
June 15, 2023
What girls need in a friend, plus Laurie Polich Short on trusting God’s timing, and tips for those struggling in their first job out of college.    Featured musical artist:  Covenant Worship       Roundtable: What Women Need From Friendships Friendships are essential for emotional and relational health; without them, our lives can easily become self-centered and empty. But what exactly do men and women need from their friends, and what should we be willing to give? This week, a group of ladies discuss friendship from a female perspective. They share what makes a friendship meaningful, how to go deeper in friendship, what to do when a relationship fizzles, and more. (Next week: the men!)   Leave us a Voicemail   Hear Laurie’s Story of Waiting for Marriage!   Culture: Trusting God’s Timing  What do you do when God says, “Wait”? Or maybe you’re wondering if He’s saying anything at all. Trusting God’s timing and plan is no easy feat. Laurie Polich Short has relied on God during several seasons of waiting, including years of being single (she got married for the first time at age 49). Laurie will share strategies for waiting well, how to listen to God in what seems like silence, and why letting God call the shots is always worth it.   Faith, Doubt and God’s Mysterious Timing: 30 Biblical Insights About the Way God Works     Hear Laurie’s Story of Waiting for Marriage!   Watch Laurie’s Video Series   Inbox: Launching a Career   She’s struggling with her first job out of college. Is there a way to get a jump-start and make progress when you’re new to the workforce? HR expert Marshonda Dixon weighs in. 
June 8, 2023
Reflecting on 800 episodes, plus more with Dr. Greg Smalley on preparing for a great marriage, and is church membership biblical?   Featured musical artist:  David Baloche   Roundtable: Celebrating #800   Thanks to you, our listeners, we’ve reached our 800th episode! To mix things up, show producer John Peardon and audio engineer Alex Seeley take a turn hosting the roundtable — with Lisa Anderson as their guest. They ask her to reflect on hosting 800 episodes, plus everything from which Bible character she’d want to trade places with for a day, to things she wants Christians to stop doing, and skills she’s used from previous jobs in her current role.   Leave us a Voicemail   Culture: Preparing for Your Future Marriage (Part 2)    Many singles dream of finding a spouse. But after that comes…marriage. Marriage is fantastic, but not easy. Are there things to learn before marriage that will set you up for better success in marriage? To help frame our perspective on what makes marriage work, Dr. Greg Smalley instructs us how to think about love from a godly perspective. In part two, he’ll address how love needs time to grow, plus why true love embraces and endures.    Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage Podcast   Marriage Assessment   Inbox: Should You Join a Church?    Most Christians would agree that being part of a local church is important; but is it necessary to be a member rather than just attend? Is that biblical? Lisa Anderson weighs in.          Is Church Membership Important?
June 1, 2023
Dating without losing yourself, plus Dr. Greg Smalley on preparing for a great marriage, and when does a relationship reach the “serious” stage?   Featured musical artist:  Stu Garrard   Roundtable: Don’t Lose Yourself in Dating   It happens all the time: Two people fall in love — then go MIA. You don’t see them except when they’re together (if that). But it’s not healthy to lose yourself in another person at any stage, so how can we encourage a healthier approach to dating? What are appropriate boundaries and rhythms to keep in mind? Our guests have walked the dating journey with ups and downs in this area, and they’ll offer ideas for enjoying and getting to know another person without losing your independence.   Culture: Preparing for Your Future Marriage (Part 1)    Many singles dream of finding a spouse. But after that comes…marriage. Marriage is fantastic, but not easy. Are there things to learn before marriage that will set you up for better success in marriage? To help frame our perspective on what makes marriage work, Dr. Greg Smalley instructs us how to think about love from a godly perspective. In part one of our conversation, he’ll address the principles of commitment, seeking God, and honoring your significant other.   Receive the book Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage: 12 Secrets for a Lifelong Romance for your donation of any amount!   Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage Podcast   Inbox: When Does a Relationship Become “Serious”?    He’s not been in a serious dating relationship before, but recently started chatting with a girl who lives 1,300 miles away. He’s planning to visit her soon and sees her as someone he could date. But he’s wondering: When does a relationship reach the “serious” stage, and what does he need to know in light of that? Lisa Anderson weighs in.          Boundless Guides to Marrying Well 
May 25, 2023
Finding joy amid depression, plus Jonathan Pokluda on Christians and alcohol, and should high-schoolers date? Featured musical artist:  Hollyn  Roundtable: Finding Joy When It Feels Impossible Christians are called to live joyful lives; after all, joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit. But how do you find joy when your entire world feels dark and hopeless? Our guests know the deep valleys of depression and anxiety; they have fought for joy in the trenches and have seen God show up. They’ll share their personal journeys as well as insight and encouragement for those struggling to trust God’s goodness from under the heaviness of life’s burdens. Paul’s Book: Beauty in the Browns: Walking With Christ in the Darkness of Depression Link to Counseling Services  Culture: What Does the Bible Say About Booze? For Christians, consuming alcohol is a divisive subject. Wherever you are on the “is it OK?” spectrum, there is biblical wisdom around the issue that everyone should consider. Pastor Jonathan Pokluda shares his own relationship, past and present, with drinking, and he and Lisa discuss current cultural cues around alcohol that could benefit from a healthier, God-honoring perspective. Link to Article: The Latest Buzz Around Christians and Alcohol Inbox: Dating in High School Are high-schoolers too young to date? Why or why not? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in.
May 18, 2023
Detoxing from social media addiction, plus more with JP Pokluda on killing bad habits, and is it wrong to date if you aren’t ready for marriage?    Featured musical artist: Je’kob   Roundtable: How to Detox From Social Media   You intend to “just check” your social media accounts, but a few minutes turn into an hour or more of mindless scrolling. You’ve tried to stop before, but the lure of the screen and its endless notifications are too much. You promise to do something about it…tomorrow. If this sounds like you, it may be time for a detox. To help motivate you, our guests describe what has helped them control the time spent on their phones, specifically with social media. They’ll also talk about the life gains they’ve seen as a result, and share ideas for replacing screen time with real relationships.    Culture: JP Pokluda on Breaking Bad Habits (Part 2)     Why Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do? Replace Deadly Vices With Life-Giving Virtues    Inbox: Dating Without Marriage in Mind   Is it wrong to date if you aren’t ready to get married? Counselor Kari Aho weighs in.     In Romans 7, the Apostle Paul is candid about his struggle with sin: “Why do I do what I don’t want to do?” Pastor Jonathan Pokluda asks the same question in his latest book (titled exactly that!). We can all relate, but what do we do about it? Is it possible to replace vices with virtues and bad habits with good ones? Is it possible to not let sin have mastery over us? In part two of our conversation, JP will tackle three battles we all face: perception management vs. authenticity, busyness vs. rest, and cynicism vs. optimism.
May 11, 2023
Evaluating your morning routine, plus JP Pokluda on killing bad habits, and advice for a virgin considering marriage to someone who isn’t. Featured musical artist:  Darlene Zschech Roundtable: The Importance of Morning RoutinesHow you start your day is incredibly important to your productivity and overall well-being — but what works for you may not work for someone else. Our guests share what they like best about their morning routines, what they’d like to change, and the gains they’ve seen from structuring their mornings (even a little bit). If you’re looking to craft a better start to your day, you’ll definitely want to tune in. Culture: JP Pokluda on Breaking Bad Habits (Part 1)  In Romans 7, the Apostle Paul is candid about his struggle with sin: “Why do I do what I don’t want to do?” Pastor Jonathan Pokluda asks the same question in his latest book (titled exactly that!). We can all relate, but what do we do about it? Is it possible to replace vices with virtues and bad habits with good ones? Is it possible to not let sin have mastery over us? In part one of our conversation, JP will share how Christians drift into sin, and tackles two of the book’s main themes: replacing pride with humility, and choosing self-control over lust.Why Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do? Replace Deadly Vices with Life-Giving Virtues  Inbox: When a Virgin Marries a Non-VirginOur listener is still a virgin but wants to marry someone who isn’t. Are there things to consider? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in with hope and practical advice.
May 4, 2023
Insight on recent campus revivals, plus the gospel in light of CRT and racial unity, and when your spouse seems spiritually stunted.Featured musical artist:  Jeremy Rosado Roundtable: Understanding Mass RevivalsEarlier this year, we saw spiritual revivals happen at college campuses around the country. There was both excitement and skepticism around these much-publicized events, leaving many asking about the nature of revival as well as its spiritual impact and implications. Two pastors join us this week to explain the biblical interpretation of revival as well as what true revival looks like, plus lessons learned from various revivals throughout history.8 Simple Ways to Boost Your Faith This Year    Culture: The Gospel and Racial UnityFor years, Monique Duson was an advocate of critical race theory (CRT); as a black woman from south central Los Angeles, it seemed like the natural fit. But when she was challenged to look at CRT through the lens of the gospel, Monique changed her tune. While she agrees that CRT raises some necessary questions, she feels most of the assumptions and conclusions presented by CRT run far afield from truth. Monique challenges Christians to approach racial unity from a posture of biblical grace, recognizing what is already ours in Christ. Listen in for a fascinating discussion from a leading thinker in this space. Featured Article: Beyond Racial Division: A Conversation With Sociologist George Yancey    Featured Website: Center for Biblical Unity  Featured Resource: Boundless Guides to Marrying Well Featured Video: Monique Duson’s Lighthouse Voices Event Inbox: When You Question Your Spouse’s Christian WalkWhat can a believer do when his or her spouse professes Christ, but isn’t evidencing the Fruit of the Spirit in their life? Pastor Mark Bates weighs in.
April 27, 2023
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About The Boundless Show

Boundless is a ministry of Focus on the Family that exists to see young adults mature in Christ as the foundation for marriage and family. Through our website, blog and weekly podcast, we help singles in their 20s and 30s navigate the path to marriage biblically and intentionally while providing sound resources and advice on key issues young adults face. We discuss everything from dating and relationships to faith, worldview, career and culture in a fun, engaging and relevant way. We’re also on Facebook (Boundless.org) and Twitter (BoundlessTeam).

The Boundless Show is a weekly podcast designed to build community among single young adults and provide a God-centered perspective on relationships, culture, career and faith. Hosted by Focus on the Family’s Lisa Anderson, The Boundless Show brings a voice to the interests and concerns of today’s 20- and 30-somethings.

About Lisa Anderson

Lisa Anderson is director of Boundless (www.boundless.org) and host of The Boundless Show — a weekly podcast reaching 20- and 30-somethings with the message of God’s design for marriage and family. The show also features practical tips for dating intentionally, owning your faith, navigating career and culture, and maturing in all areas of life.  

Lisa speaks frequently at churches, conferences and workshops, and her writing has been featured in newspapers, magazines, and in Streetwise and The Big Screen — two books in David C. Cook’s Custom Curriculum series.

When not challenging the next generation, she enjoys traveling, running, and quoting her mother, who is known to say outrageous things. She loves Jesus, people, ideas and guacamole, in that order.

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