Key Life Network

Steve Brown: Like father, like son. Let's talk about it on Key Life.

Matthew: Being adopted into the family of God is not about doing more or trying harder. It's about being welcomed by God because of his radical grace, free from the penalty of sin, and never alone in your suffering. That grace is what Key Life is all about.

Steve Brown: Thank you, Matthew. Hope you had a great weekend, and I hope your pastor's sermon was as good as my pastor's sermon. If you're just joining us, we're in a rather long series from a book that has yet to be published. I've never done this before. Generally, when I've done a book, I spend some time on the broadcast going over the themes of that book after it's published. But this time I'm doing it before, and I'm open to your comments.

If you've been with us this week, we're talking about the lie of how people define us. They think we're ugly and our mother dresses us funny, and God says we're in his image. Okay, let's pray and then we'll study. Father, when we come into your presence, remind us that we're welcomed, that we're created in your image, that we are loved, that we are acceptable. Forgive us when we have let others define us instead of running to you.

Father, that's true about so many things. We should have come to you first and we didn't. So forgive us and thank you for always doing that over and over and over again. Father, you know everybody who's listening to this broadcast. You know what's hard and what's easy, what's painful and what's joyful. Remind us that you're a sovereign God over it all. And then, Father, as always, we pray for the one who teaches on this broadcast. Forgive him his sins, for they are many. We would see Jesus and him only. And we pray in Jesus' name, Amen.

If you were listening yesterday, I was talking about how we let fathers—we don't let, it happens—authority figures, people we look up to, friends, we bounce our self-image off of them and we set our own image by what we get back from them. That's especially true when we're young, when we're small and we look up to everybody. And what people say about us, how they act around us, whether they accept us, becomes sometimes our own self-definition.

I told you about my father. My father was not a good person by human standards. He became a Christian three months before he died, and I loved him, you have no idea. And his love for me and my brother changed both of our lives. He couldn't have a party unless we were there. He loved being with us. He loved talking about us to others. He loved kissing us. He loved hugging us. He loved us without reservation and without any kind of exception.

I've got to be careful, I'm going to spend the whole broadcast talking about my father. I remember one time, one night, when some friends and I were in a car and we threw a cherry bomb. That is a very loud and dangerous kind of fireworks, in case you don't know, at the porch of a house. And after I'd thrown the firebomb, I realized there was a lady sitting on a rocking chair on that, and so we drove back around the block to make sure I hadn't killed her.

By the time I got home, my father said, "Sit down, son. What have you done this evening?" The police had already gotten to him. And I thought, "You know, I hope they put something nice on my tombstone." But you know what my father did? He went with me everyplace to remedy that situation. Not just to stand there, but with his arm around me. And he made it clear that he loved me without exception.

He only spanked me twice and, believe it or not, he cried both times. And he didn't think, as I said, that you could have a party if his sons weren't there. Jesus said, and this is Matthew 7:11, "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him?" You know, when I read that verse, I remember thinking that if my heavenly Father loves me one-fifth as much as my earthly father, I've got it made.

My father defined me. Like father, like son. That's the way it works. And his definition is still a significant part of how I define myself. That was a gift from God, one I've needed over the years because others have defined me differently. For some reason, I don't know why, I irritate a lot of people. They think that I am ugly and my mother dresses me funny and that I don't play well with the other children.

As a child, I struggled with dyslexia and it caused some teachers to define me as stupid. As an adult child of an alcoholic with all of the dysfunction that brings into my life, I'm also a technical first-generation illegitimate child, given that my father's mother was single and unmarried. And then I'm a sinner. Many people have told me as a sinner, God was through with me. Some suggested that I was a heretic and should be disciplined by my denomination.

Still others were confused by my deep voice and expected that I would look a lot different. They laughed when they discovered that God put this wonderful voice in a not-so-handsome body. It was God's little joke that I didn't find funny. I received a lot of criticism in the ministry that God has given me. One of my seminary students, I was talking about how to handle criticism in a seminary class, and he opened up his computer and he raised his hand and he said, "Steve, I just Googled you, and there are a lot of people that don't like you at all."

I'm telling you this because all of us at one time or another have accepted a definition of ourselves from sources that don't have the right or the qualifications to define us properly. Only the one who creates has the right to define what is created. Let me say that again because it's really important. Only the one who creates has the right to define what is created. Because we have believed the definitions of those who didn't create us and don't have the right to define us, the resulting guilt, shame, fear, and regret are on steroids.

My biological father's love and definition of me anchored my view of myself. Our heavenly Father's definition of us is quite surprising and the anchor of our lives. His definition is not what you might think. God isn't a nice old man who thinks we're cute, no matter what we say or do or think. Our heavenly Father isn't blind. He knows why we feel guilty and even affirms that guilt when we deserve it.

He doesn't ignore or dismiss what makes us afraid. He knows about our shame and what caused it. And believe it or not, he is aware of our regrets and, in a sense, shares them. What makes the Christian faith different, and should make Christians different, isn't God's blindness, it's his love. Real love is never blind, only infatuation is blind. God is the creator, and knowing our sins and fears and shameful ways, he says, "Come here," and he hugs us. He even decided to come and make himself like us. We are created, the Bible says, in his image. Remember that, and you'll be better for it. You think about that. Amen.

Matthew: Thanks, Steve. That was Steve Brown, resuming our tour through the newest book that he's writing called *God's Not Mad at You*. We have a unique perspective here, essentially riding shotgun as Steve finishes the writing process. And if you have any questions or thoughts about the material we're covering, seriously, give us a shout. You can actually shape the book as we near the finish line.

Okay, so we've been talking about the new book that Steve wrote, is writing, I should say. And here's a fun fact: all of our voices of Key Life have also written books. Just one of those is Matt Hurd, who wrote a powerful book called *Life with a Capital L*. If you ever feel limited or stuck, guess what? That's not the way it was meant to be. God intends the humanity in each of us to be deeply experienced, lavishly enjoyed, and exuberantly celebrated.

And for a minimum donation of $15 to Key Life, that book is our gift to you. So call us right now at 1-800-KEY-LIFE. That's 1-800-539-5433. You can also email Steve at keylife@keylife.org to order that book, or go to keylife.org/contact to find our mailing addresses. Again, the book is called *Life with a Capital L*. And finally, will you support Key Life financially? Just charge a gift on your credit card or include a gift in your envelope. Or you can simply text "KEYLIFE" to 28950, then follow the instructions.

And hey, if you can't give right now, all good. But if you think about it, please do pray for us, would you? Always needed, always appreciated. Thanks. Key Life is a member of ECFA in the States and CCCC in Canada, and Key Life is a listener-supported production of Key Life Network.